Christian marriage

CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE

Christian marriage has its roots to the early church and has a mixture of Jewish, Greek and roman culture. Christians recognize that the institution of marriage was ordained by God and hence mankind has to continue with the obligation. The ceremony has to be done in public before God and man.  Marriage has duties and obligations which are in the realm of conscience hence civil law have no jurisdiction over it. Civil law concerns itself with the reasons for validity of the marriage and the grounds for annulment of a valid marriage. This is contrary to divine law in regards to marriage and that’s why the church allows for separation but not divorce since it’s not within the authority of man to end the marriage arbitrary irrespective of the compelling reasons.  The Christian marriage is characterized by a religious ceremony presided over by an ordained minister of the church. It involves solemn vows by the couple in front of their friends and relatives. It is a public affair since has its roots in the society, but from a moral and religious understanding it is a test and show of virtue.  The ceremony has to be done during the day and the ecclesial law stipulates between 8am to 12 noon since this is the time that serious business in life is transacted and marriage is a serious business. Also this is the time when our judgment is the clearest, passions are calm and one is least likely not to  be hurried hence end up with regrets.

An interesting feature of the marriage is that it should be conducted in a language that is understood by the couple since by taking the vows they are entering into a covenant. When the priest or the celebrant pronounces that they are now man and wife it means from that moment the couple is one and that the church has pronounced and sanctioned the marriage in everything that pertains to marriage that it has authority. Once the pronunciation is done there is no reversal it only God who can break the union and not man. The marriage is said to be irrevocable, permanent and indissoluble. The parties become one which means complementary, together in one complex existence without   the other one is incomplete.

The Christian marriage is characterized with several symbols which are used to convey those deeper or stronger emotions and sentiments of the soul which are very profound to be comprehended by the spoken or written word. Before the marriage ceremony the couple undergoes marriage preparation or parenting classes which serve the following functions:

}  To harmonize their expectations of the marriage

}   To set the goals of their lives and how to achieve them

}  To develop a plan of upbringing and education of their children

}   To learn how to deal with complex family matters that continuously affects the family.                                                                           

}  Learn how to solve family problems.

}  Learn how to achieve unity of the family

There is universality in the Christian marriage in that the man is on the right and woman to the left. The right is a sign of responsibility and leadership which will be exhibited in the family by the man. The woman is on the left since she has to be protected and defended. It also shows their equality as companions. The woman is escorted to the altar by her father or guardian while the man is waiting inside the church in the front. The woman is received by the priest and handed over to the man as a sign that both shall leave their parents and be one.  Thereafter the sermon begins and the marriage rites are said. The catholic marriage rite gives many options (number 25) and the standard version is as follows

Priest (or deacon): Since it is your intention to enter into marriage, join your right hands, and declare your consent before God and his Church.

(The vows, presence of witnesses and civil registration are absolute requirements under the law.)

The Christian marriage should be performed in the church though this rule has been bent to accommodate the convenience of certain members. The Catholic Church does not allow for wedding to be conducted outside the church. The reason is that the house of God is a public and solemn place and is a show of respect for God who   is the source of strength required for the marriage. Marriage is a solemn occasion hence needs to be conducted at the right place, by the right people and at the right time. The bride is always in a white dress which is a symbol of prosperity, hope and joy that she is bringing to the marriage.

The vows said goes like this;

Groom: I, (name), take you; (name), to be my wife. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

Bride: I, (name), take you; (name), to be my husband. I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life.

The sickness and health are the most sure things that we acknowledge will happen to any human being since we are matter. Our bodies will get sick one time, we shall age but these are just but temporal things that should not rock the marriage. It is a sign of acceptance of the uncertain future and the reassurance of perpetual love. 

The ring is placed in the fourth finger initially it was thought that it had a vein that connects directly to the heart but science has proved otherwise. The fourth finger does minimum but it’s the most conspicuously hence the ring will always be displayed for all to see. The preferred metal has been gold since it the most unchangeable metal hence a symbol of the unwavering love that the couple shares. It is also precious, so is the love of the couple. The ring is a constant reminder of the irrevocable agreement entered and it’s their pledge to keep the promise.

The holding of the hands carries a pledge of affectionate fidelity and solemnity of the oath, the couple looks into each other eyes and they reassure each other of the confidence they have in their marriage. It also indicates the duties and rights of the couple; which is reciprocal and evenly balanced.

The kissing of the bride has an origin in the traditional culture but was later fused into Christianity. The kiss is a sign of the irrevocable seal and love that the couple has openly agreed to share. It is a signal to the public that the promises and all claims that appertain to that marriage have now been made exclusive. For some churches there is matrimonial sacrament.

After the ceremony the priest gives the couple the final blessings from God as he is the minister whom God uses. The bride and groom who are now man and wife leave the church together while holding hands as a show of the oneness.